Agonia
by artsygeek9796
Summary: Sebastian slowly loses himself when he is sick and Ciel looks after him. But as his condition gets worse, Ciel's safety may be at risk.
1. Chapter 1

Ciel's eyes opened abruptly. _Something's not right._ He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but in the pit of his stomach was a feeling that something was off. Sitting up, he looked around the room. From the wallpapered walls and the vases of blue germaniums to the mahogany cabinets and the ivory curtains covering his window, daylight bleeding in through it, there was no butler to be seen.

Just then the door creaked open and entered a slender man dressed in black, pushing in a silver cart with his master's morning tea. He stopped a few feet away from the bed and began pouring into a porcelain cup.

"This morning I have prepared a jasmine infused black tea with milk. Today's breakfast is millet porridge sweetened with honey and strawber-"

"Sebastian, what time is it?" The butler hesitated for a second before answering.

"A quarter after seven, my lord."

"You're late."

"I'm terribly sorry, I had to repair the chandelier after that stupid maid tripped on the ladder and shattered it. Then I had to refertilize the garden with that idiotic brute of a gardener sprayed too much of that weed killing chemical on the plants again, and I had to build the entire kitchen again when that good-for-nothing dumba-"

"Sebastian!" Ciel shouted, cutting his servant's rant.

"What?!" Sebastian hissed. Ciel stared back at him with a mixture of shock and anger.

"I was going to tell you the tea is spilling," he said pointing to the overflowing teacup, "but I think we should address your little sudden outburst."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me," he muttered, rubbing two gloved fingers over the bridge of his nose.

"Then I suggest you figure out what the cause of this is and get your act together!" Ciel told him harshly. "Your job is to serve me with respect and dignity and right now, you are disgracing yourself. Understood?"

"Yes, young master. Shall I fetch you today's wardrobe?"

"Proceed." Sebastian walk out the room to fetch his master's clothes. Ciel sat back against the headboard, suspicious of his butler's strange behavior. He was fully aware of how Sebastian felt about his staff but never once did he ever voice those thoughts.

The butler returned with a tailored grey suit. As Sebastian began to unbutton his master's nightshirt, Ciel arched his eyebrow.

"Are you planning on dressing me in the dark?" Sebastian glanced up, his features hidden in the shadows except for his crimson eyes.

"Of course not." He got up and went towards the the window. Once the curtains were drawn, Sebastian flinched, turning away from the sunlight. Ciel observed with curiosity.

"Is there a problem, Sebastian?"

"N-not at all, my lord. Come, there is much to do today."

•••

He could feel his master observing him intensely as the day progressed. After breakfast was served, Sebastian led Ciel to his study for his lessons. His head began to throb while he was going over grammar with the young master and tried to ignore it. After a while, the burning sensation began to fade. But when it was time for his master to practice the violin, he found the pain almost too strong to endure. It got to the point where listening to Ciel's off-key playing became so intolerable, he decided to cut the lesson short.

"But I still haven't mastered the first page."

"That's fine, we'll work on it tomorrow."

Next, Sebastian had to prepare Darjeeling tea and scones while his master had a business meeting with Lau. As he poured the hot liquid into the cups, he felt as if a blade was stabbing his wrist. The growing pain made it hard for Sebastian to hold the pot steady and saw how his hand trembled as he poured. Afraid of spilling the tea, he quickly served them as they are. Ciel gave him a questioning look after being handed a half-empty cup, but said nothing and sipped his tea anyway.

The clock now read half past noon, which meant it was time to make dinner preparations. He escorted Ciel to his office and made his way to the kitchen. Sebastian made sure to schedule extra time in case any of the staff made a mess of things. And sure enough they did, as Meyrin was the first to confront Sebastian with her dilemma.

Meyrin had used too much wax on the floor, making the tiled surface a hazard to walk on.

"I'm sorry M-mr. Sebastian, I thought I was following the directions!" Sighing, Sebastian scrubbed and rewaxed the floors of the entire manor, his back to feeling sore the longer he spent on the task. By the time he finished, he headed down the hall. But as he passed the window facing the outside, he found Finnian had cut all the roses in the garden until the rose bushes looked like bald shrubs.

"What are you doing?" Sebastian gasped as he ran out to where Finny was.

"You wanted me to pick some of these pretty flowers, remember?"

_Yes, but I didn't want you to cut all of them, you dolt!_ But Sebastian simply bit his tongue and rolled up his sleeves. He began to plant magnolia seeds into the ground, as well as trim the bushes that once held roses, into sculptures of cats. He slowly pulled himself to his feet, feeling stiffer than he did before, and headed back into the mansion. He entered the kitchen where the white walls and counters were charred black from Bard's attempt to make crème brûlée with a flame thrower.

"How many times must I tell you to use the stove?" Sebastian asked, massaging away the headache that had returned. Bard was about to explain when the butler raised his hand. Sebastian was running out of the patience he needed to deal with them.

"Save it, just get out of the kitchen so I can clean it," he spat as he pushed him out, slamming the door in the process.

Bard stood in front of the kitchen door, shaking his head. Soon, the maid and the gardener met up with the chef to talk about Sebastian.

"I-it seems as if Mr. Sebastian is constantly fixing our mistakes," Meyrin stammered, "w-we're always causing trouble."

"He was very upset with me about the flowers," Finny said as he thought back to the events of earlier.

"You should've seen him this morning, I thought he was going to explode on me, Bard spoke as they past the dining room. "I know, how about we help out Sebastian set up the dining table?"

"Oh yes! I'm sure he will be most pleased," Finny grinned.

"I-I'll get the fresh linen!"

"Yeah, we'll show Sebastian how useful we are!"

The three of them scattered into the dining room, eager to please their master. Laughter and the sound of objects dropping were heard outside the door by Tanaka, who simply replied with: "Ho, ho, ho."


	2. Chapter 2

Sebastian wiped the sweat off his brow as he pulled a roast lamb out of the oven. It took him a lot longer than usual to cook his master's meal, almost as long as it takes a human. He leaned against the counter, fighting the migraine growing inside his head. _Why am I in so much pain lately?_ _Although demons are not immune to pain, they don't experience it from doing simple tasks like cooking and ironing._ Nevertheless, Sebastian couldn't preoccupy himself with this mystery as it was almost dinnertime for his master.

He placed the tray of lamb onto the cart, along with a salad bowl and a basket of toasted bread rolls and rolled through two doors that lead to the dining room. Once he got there, he was shocked to find the young master already seated at the table with chipped plates and cracked glassware set in front of him. The beaten roses from the garden were used in the centerpiece and covered in candle wax as the melted wax dripped all the way to the table's linen surface.

"Sebastian, what is this?" Ciel inquired with a confused scowl. The butler stood there speechless.

"Do you like it Sebastian?" Finny asked, pure innocence shining in his eyes.

"We worked hard on it, yes we did!" Meyrin pipped up.

"Thought you could use some help," Bard explained, "we even have Tanaka to play the flute while the young master eats."

"Ho, ho, ho," Tanaka chuckled before puffing into the instrument, sending a melody into everyone's ears. Finnian grabbed Meyrin and started dancing. They twirled around and around while Bard clapped his hands. Ciel watched his servants with slight amusement.

Sebastian stood there, eyes forced shut and fists clenched as the pain in his head returned. Every mental stab he felt left a stinging scar in his brain. He felt his hand reaching to the edge of the table while the other to his head. He felt the heat of anger burning inside of him as he tried to calm himself down. How badly he wanted to tear his ears off his head, ending the torture of listening to Tanaka's high-pitch notes combined with the laughter of the servants.

"ENOUGH!" Sebastian bellowed, slamming his hands on the dining table. Everyone froze once the music ceased playing. The servants turned to the butler, frightened of his angry outburst.

"Do you have any idea how long it will take me to clean all this up?! Despite whatever notion you simpletons may have thought up, I do not enjoy fixing every damn screw-up you make! And not only do you make a mess, but you all come to me whining and sniffling like bratty infants! You are Phantomhive servants and it's about damn time you act it or so help me I wi-"

"SEBASTIAN!" Ciel growled, "My office, NOW!" Sebastian didn't argue, he simply bowed and marched out of the dining room with the young master.

•••

The sound of Sebastian's white leather glove slapped against his cheek echoed in the room.

"What the hell was that about?" Ciel demanded, throwing the glove aside.

"I'm terribly sorry, young mas-"

"I don't want an apology, I want an explanation!"

"I don't know why I'm like this," Sebastian replied, confusion etched on his face. What's wrong with me? "I usually hide my irritation so well. And these sudden pangs I'm experiencing..." His eyes widened. _Oh no, it can't be..._

"Sebastian?"

"I got to get out of-Aaaaagh!" He brought his hand to his side, almost clawing his black nails deep into his rib cage. He fell to the floor hard, sending a skull-splitting pain to his head. His other hand began to pull on his hair.

"Sebastian!" Ciel cried, a tinge of fear in his voice as he commanded him, "get up this instant!"

"It...h-huuurts..." the butler said through his teeth. He let out another scream before his vision faded to black.


	3. Chapter 3

"Sebastian...wake up."

Sebastian moaned, his head pounding like the bell of a catholic church. He turned his head to his master standing by him.

"What happened?"

"You collapsed, I had Finny carry you to your room. You don't remember anything?"

"For the most part. I know I did something to upset you. Whatever it was, I am truly sorry. As the Phantomhive butler, I have disappointed you."

"That's not important right now. A few hours ago, you were screaming in pain before you collapsed."

He adverted his eyes, not wanting to speak.

"Sebastian, I can't have you yelling at my staff and fainting. I'm ordering you to tell me what's going on." Sebastian sighed.

"I'm possessed, my lord."

"What?" Ciel blinked in disbelief. Never had his butler make an excuse like that. _Honestly Sebastian, is dealing with them really so stressful that you make up such a thing?_

"Let me explain," Sebastian spoke quickly, seeing his master's confusion, "It's how we say we caught the Agonia Phenomenon."

"What is that?"

"It's a disease from the underworld."

"How do we cure it?"

"Only time can cure me. The disease will only last about a month before I-"

"A month?!" Ciel cried baffled.

"Unfortunately, yes." What is he to do without his butler for a month? But the boy knew this was not a choice and sighed.

"Fine, you'll be put on medical leave until the end of the month. You are not to leave this bed that entire time."

"Actually, young master, I can't stay here."

"Why?"

"There will be times where I won't be...myself. At least who I am around everyone. I will be in constant pain, everything will hurt and I will be suffering tremendously. My true self will start to show and at times I won't be able to keep my human form. If you keep me here, the others will find out."

"I see," Ciel thought aloud, "...there's an abandoned house in the forest we can go to. I'll have Tanaka pack our things, we leave tomorrow mo-"

"Forgive me, but I don't think you should be near me while I'm like this."

"It's not up to you. Our contract states you are to stay by my side, no matter what. Besides, if I stay, that means I'm left alone in the manor with those three. You must be mad if you think I'll stay here under those conditions." The butler snickered a bit before returning serious.

"Master, are you sure about this? It may not seem so bad now, but once my condition worsens, I'll become cold and vicious from the pain...saying things that could hurt you. I assure you, it will get very ugly."

"So be it. I'm still going with you."


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Tanaka had packed up the carriage for Sebastian and Ciel's trip. Placing the suede leather luggage inside, he peered through the window and saw the young master and his butler. Ciel was dressed in an almond-colored plaid suit with a silk black necktie. Sebastian followed closely behind him, his long bangs shielding his eyes from the sunlight beating down on England that morning.

"Thank you, Tanaka," Ciel said, "that'll be all." And with that, the old house steward reverted back to his happy, round self.

"Y-young master?" Ciel turned to face a scared, naive Finny. Behind him stood Meyrin and Bard, who were equally as nervous. "Is Mr. Sebastian still mad at us?" Ciel sighed, there was no point in lying about Sebastian's health since his current condition was obvious.

"He isn't feeling well at the moment," the blue haired boy explained, looking back to see Sebastian climbing into the carriage, "but he will be alright. We'll be away for some time so I expect you all to look after the estate while we're gone."

"Yes, young master!" They all saluted. Ciel hopped inside and closed the carriage door, signaling the driver to move.

"Get well soon, Mr. Sebastian!" Finny called out as the horses began to pull them away.

"Feel better!" Meyrin shouted as well.

"Good luck!" Bard hollered, "And don't worry, we'll hold down the fort!"

Sebastian growled, his head still sensitive to loud noises.

"How long will it take to get there?"

"I'm not sure, but the place is miles away from here."

He leaned his head back against the cushion, deciding he might as well try to rest his eyes through their long trip.

•••

"...ake up, Sebastian."

"...mhmm..."

"Wake up, Sebastian."

"...no...uh..."

"Wake up! That's an order!" Ciel took his cane and jabbed him in the stomach. He jolted up, his bright red eyes darting around his surroundings.

"Where are we?"

"We're here," Ciel explained as he sat back across from Sebastian so he can look out the window.

An old stone house stood out from the forest, covered in moss that concealed the cracks on it's sides. Bushes and weeds surround the stone residence, revealing how long it has been since it's last owner took care of it. The house was isolated, not another building for miles.

Ciel sighed, shaking his head once he took another look at his butler. "And fix yourself up, you're a mess."

Sebastian looked at him confused until he was given a small hand mirror from one of the suitcases.

Half of his face was red from the impression of the seat cushion. His eyes stood out from the dark circles surrounding them and his hair stuck out every direction. Saliva trailed from the corner of his mouth and across his jawline, sticking strands of his ebony bangs to his face.

He roughly wiped his cheek with the back of his hand, embarrassed to have his master see him in such an unkempt appearance.

"How long was I asleep?"

"About six hours. Do you always talk in your sleep?"

"What?"

"You were sleep talking. Do you always do that?"

"I wouldn't know. The last time I ever had to sleep was a thousand years ago." He winced slightly as the pain in his side returned. "If I was sleeping like that, why didn't you wake me?"

"It was the first time I have ever seen you look almost human," he replied smirking. Sebastian growled. Although he found humans to be amusing creatures, he certainly didn't like being compared to one. He said nothing as he handed the mirror back to him.

"You still look terrible."

Sebastian gave Ciel a dark glare before he got out of the carriage. The driver assisted the two gentlemen with their bags before turning to Ciel for his payment.

"Why on earth would a young boy like youself want to come to this rundown place?"

"Do you honestly care?" The boy asked, holding out the bag of coins.

"Not really." He took the bag and climbed back on the carriage.

"Come back in 30 days," Ciel said as the driver nodded, whipped the reins, and drove off. He entered the stone house, taking note of the furniture and cabinets coated with a thick layer of dust and the cobwebs that hung in the air from the chandelier to the walls. _To have to stay in a filthy place like this..._

A sudden thud brought Ciel to his senses.

"...uuugh..." He followed Sebastian's moaning into the kitchen where he found his butler lying on the ground.

"What happened?"

"I...I blacked out for a moment, my lord." He gripped his head tightly in his hands. Ciel looked over to the small kitchen area, where Sebastian had pulled out a pot and prepared a rabbit stew. _When did he go to catch a rabbit?_ Ciel sighed as he helped the butler up.

"What did I tell you about resting?"

"You need to eat."

"My orders come before my needs," the boy scolded, "Come, the bedroom's upstairs." He guided his butler up the stairs to a small room with a bed and a wooden nightstand. Sebastian was about step into the room when a sharp stinging sensation formed in his leg. He howled, leaning profoundly onto his master as he crouched over in pain.

"Sebastian, please! You're too heavy for me to hold on my own!" Ciel cried as he pushed.

"S-sorry..." He pushed himself up and limped his way to the mattress, nearly collapsing into the bed.

Ciel stared down at his butler. He had never seen Sebastian like this before, curled up as he clutched his hurting limbs. Battling kidnappers and shinigamis never seemed to hurt him as much as this sickness is.

"How bad is it?"

"It h-hurts like h-hell..." He stuttered out, eyes squeezed shut as sweat poured down his face.

"Do you want take something to lessen the pain?"

"I c-can't...h-human medicine...doesn't affect us..."

"Well, what can we do?"

"N-nothing...all we can do is wa-" he paused, sucking in air through his teeth, "wait for this to p-pass..."

"Is there anything I could do?"

"I-I'm f-fine, my lord...I-" he suddenly gasped for breath. He wrapped his arms around his abdomen.

"Sebastian?" Ciel asked with unmasked concern.

"...g-g-get out..." the butler muttered once he began to shake.

"Sebastian?!" He panicked.

"Damn it, I said LEAVE!" Sebastian screamed, his eyes flashing a dangerous shade of red. He swung his hand across his master's face, his nails leaving a scratch on Ciel's cheek. "GO!"

Ciel ran out with the door slamming behind him. He stood beside the door, tightening his fists. He could feel the blood trickling down his face. _How dare he strike his master like that! I'll-_

His thoughts were interrupted by growling, followed by the sound of Sebastian gasping for breath and pounding against the wall. All the anger he felt was replaced by a feeling he hadn't felt in forever: weakness. His butler was being tormented by a supernatural disease and he couldn't do a thing to stop it. Sebastian couldn't let his master get near him when he's like that. He knew why Sebastian did it, but it still aggravated him.

He made sure Sebastian was unconscious before re-entering the room.

•••

His sudden spasm left him in a subconscious state; couldn't sleep so he tossed and turned and too tired to stay awake. Alone with nothing but the glow of a candle flame, he tried to recall what had happen. But his headache wouldn't let him.

"Sebastian." He turned his head to his master, who held a cup of tea in his hands.

"Young master, your face..." He reached his hand towards the injury when Ciel pushed it away.

"It's fine."

"Let me dress the wound before it gets infected." Ciel placed the teacup on the nightstand as Sebastian struggled to sit up. He pulled his master's face closer to inspect the cuts. His cheek was swollen and red, but at least the bleeding had stopped. He pulled out a small flask from his vest.

"What's that?"

"Bard's whiskey. I confiscated it before we left." He poured some on a handkerchief and wiped the boy's cheek. Ciel backed away, hissing from the stinging contact.

"I'm sorry, please bear with it a little longer." Ciel leaned forward and let him finish disinfecting the wound. After placing a bandage on his cheek, Sebastian sat back against the headboard.

"Your tea," Ciel mumbled as he handed him the cup. Sebastian stared back surprised.

"It's ginger tea, for the pain. I-It's not as good as the ones you make but-"

"I am honored to drink tea that was made by my master," he said grinning as he took a sip. It tasted watered down and had a bitter aroma, but it was warm and the master had added some honey in. "Thank you."

"Does it help?"

"It doesn't relieve me of these sensations, but it distracts me from thinking about the pain. So in a way it does."

Ciel nodded. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired."

"I don't know much about this...disease, so what should I expect to see?"

"Well, my symptoms will get worse as time goes by, seizures will occur like the one you just saw."

"And the angry outburst?"

"Yes, that will happen again," Sebastian sighed, "Young master, you must understand that when I get like that, you are to stay away from me. This is exactly why I wanted you to stay at the manor."

"You can barely walk across a room, how would you take care of yourself?" Ciel challenged.

"Demons don't recover with food and medicine like humans do when they're sick. Do you really think pampering me and serving me tea would cure me sooner, young master?"

"Even so, you need someone to look after you in case you hurt yourself." He grabbed Sebastian's arm and pulled up his sleeve, revealing a large purple bruise. "Did you think I wouldn't notice?"

The butler flinched in his master's grip. "You don't know what you're doing!"

"Then teach me!"

Sebastian sighed, there was no way to get his master to listen to reason once he made up his mind. He motioned a long finger to his suitcase at the foot of his bed. Ciel brought it to him, where he took out a large black book with its gold title written in Latin on the cover and handed it over.

"What is this?"

"It's a medical book from the underworld. Everything you want to know is in there."

"Couldn't you just tell me what I need to know?"

"My head hurts too much for me to recall the facts. Besides," he said with a sly grin, "the young master could stand to practice his Latin."

Ciel rolled his eyes and flipped open the book, but found that all of the pages were blank.

"Do you take me for a fool?! Why are the pages empty?"

"Oh, I forgot. Humans cannot read books from the underworld, they're protected with a dark magic to prevent such knowledge from them. But there is a way for you to read it, my lord."

"Well, what is it?"

Sebastian stretched his arm to where Ciel stood. He reached behind the boy's blue haired head and untied the black thread of his eye patch, exposing his purple marked eye.

"Now, young master, see if you can read it."

With the eye that held the demon's mark, Ciel opened the black book and saw the words surface onto the paper.

"I suppose you didn't bring a reference book along?" the young earl asked. But when he looked up, he found Sebastian had fallen asleep. The butler usually upright posture was slouching, his hands loosely clutched onto the blankets. His long lashes flutter slightly as strands of his hair fell on his face when he breathed.

Ciel got up and blew out the candle, leaving his butler in the serenity of the darkness.


	5. Chapter 5

Ciel sat in a green armchair beside the window, recording in a journal what he had read in the black book.

_Day two:_

_Since I will be stuck here for a month, I figured I might as well record this information in case Sebastian gets sick again. Sebastian has been stable throughout most of the night. There were times where I could hear him moaning from the next room, but he managed to fall back to sleep each time. From what I have gathered, the Agonia Phenomenon has existed for thousands of centuries. Humans have believed that the condition was the cause of demons entering a person's body, "possessing" one to become evil. To release them of such demons, the practice of sprinkling holy water on them during an exorcism was considered a cure. However, there is an additive in holy water that works as an sedative to a demon, but they won't cure anything. Symptoms of the Agonia Phenomenon are severe pain, seizures, memory loss, hallucinations, aggression, and split personalities. I have yet to see the some of these symptoms, but I suppose that is to be expected seeing as it's only the second day. _

"Young master?" The words reached Ciel's ears from the bedroom upstairs. Ciel walked swiftly to where Sebastian was. The palms of his hands were pressed against his eyes.

"What is it?"

"The light..." he trailed off. Ciel spun around to where the curtains already cover the window.

"Sebastian, there's nothing else I can do."

"Please..."

"Sebastian, I can't turn off the sun. Just pull the blanket over your head." He did as his master told and turned to face away the window.

_The book didn't say anything about demons being this sensitive to light_, he thought as he left the room. The young master had yet to make himself breakfast, so he headed into the kitchen. Sadly the only thing Ciel knew how to make was tea, so he served himself a cup of chamomile tea and some biscuits and sat himself back in the green armchair.

Hours past before Ciel closed his book and decided to check up on Sebastian. He climbed up the stairs with Sebastian's tea and an apple in his hands. Pushing the door open, he found Sebastian looking up from a novel.

"Good, you're awake," Ciel said as he placed the cup and apple on the nightstand, "how are you feeling?"

"Just fine, my lord," the butler smiled.

"You don't have put on a face around me, I understand that you're in pain," he explained as he pulled up a stool. _The book did explain that demons feel pain that no mortal creature could withstand._

"Slight discomfort, but I do feel fine." Ciel rolled his eyes and began peeling the apple with a knife.

"Drink your tea."

"Serving a humble servant when he's ill. My my, what a kind master I ha-" the teacup shatters.

Ciel looked up to his butler staring at his arm. "Sebastian?"

"...something's wrong with my arm."

"What?" Ciel grabbed Sebastian's wrist to see, but all he saw was smooth, ivory skin. "I don't see anything."

"Yes there is," Sebastian insisted as he started scratching. "There's something inside me." His black nails dig deeper with each scratch.

"Sebastian, what are you- no, stop! You're starting to bleed!"

"Look, young master! It's moving!" He , hoping the young master would see what was formed in his arm. But Ciel saw nothing. The young master grabbed Sebastian's arm, covering the suppose lump with his hand.

"Listen to me, there's nothing there!"

"I can feel it crawling..." He said, scratching around Ciel's hand. He suddenly snatched the knife from his master's hand, raising the blade above his head.

"Sebastian, I command you to STOP!"

The butler froze, dropping the knife onto his lap. He looked down on his fingernails had blood and skin he tore from his arm. His arm, stained red with the scars he made, had nothing sticking out from under his skin. "There...really was nothing?"

Ciel let out a sigh he didn't know he was holding as he carefully took the knife away from his butler. Looking down, he shook his head. "You're getting blood on the bedsheet, aren't you going to heal yourself?"

"I'm too weak to use my powers."

"Got any whiskey left?"

Sebastian nodded.

"We'll need it to disinfect the area," Ciel explained, bending over to pick up the pieces of the teacup off the floor. "I'll be back with some bandages." He walked out, leaving Sebastian with the fear and shame of having his master seeing him so vulnerable.

"So I really was seeing things...but it felt so real," he thought aloud. _No, no. It wasn't real. But hallucinations shouldn't occur this early. Am I losing my mind?_

The young master returned with the supplies he had promised, setting them at the edge of the bed. "This is going to sting a bit," he warned as he pushed the butler's sleeve up more, "ready?"

Sebastian nodded, and Ciel began dabbing the cloth on his skin. The butler hissed, grasping the corners of the blanket as Ciel kept dressing his arm.

"How did the young master learn how to do this?" he asked, wanting a distraction from the stinging.

"As you may remember, my aunt was a doctor at the royal hospital. So whenever I visited her, I would observe how she took care of her patients," the boy recalled, a faint hint of nostalgia in his tone, "pass me the gauze." He wrapped Sebastian's arm tightly, causing the butler to wince. "Done."

"Thank you."

"Now let's clean the blood off your hand," Ciel motioned to the one still raised mid-air.

"I-I can't, my lord. It seems to be stuck," Sebastian said, struggling to move his other arm down. The young master stood up and pushed down on the stiff limb, successfully able to lower it, but at the expense of Sebastian's pain tolerance.

"Aaugh!" he screamed.

"I-I'm sorry, I-"

"What the hell were you thinking?! Are you honestly that stupid to put such force on someone who is in constant agony every fucking minute?!"

"Sebastian..."

"N-no, I didn't m-mean...aaahhh!" Sebastian shook violently. He turned to the young master, flashing his fangs at him. "Get out!"

Although he was slightly frightened, Ciel stood his ground. "No, I'm not leaving. You cannot order me to."

"Y-you have t-to...how noble, earl. But you really s-should've left when you had the ch-chance." He lunged forwarded. Ciel stepped out of the way, his butler landing on the floor. He rolled onto his back and laughed sadistically.

"The pain, hurts s-so much...h-hurts so good. I bet those women f-felt the same way after your aunt had them killed."

Ciel felt his whole body numb. _What did he say?_

"Yes, I bet they screamed something awful with each s-stab she made. Stab, stab, stab, stab..."

"Shut up."

"...stab, stab, stab..."

"SHUT UP!" Ciel screamed, covering his ears. Angry tears welled up in his eyes. _Why is Sebastian talking this way? Make it stop!_

"...stab, sta-" Sebastian suddenly swung his head back against the floor, hard. "Aaughhh...d-don't...talk like that...t-to the...y-young master..." Ciel watched in shock as his butler went at war with himself. Sebastian fought hard- choking, biting, and throwing himself to the floor. He wanted to look away, but kept his eyes on him and how far Sebastian's loyalty would go. After watching the fight die down to him pulling his own hair, Ciel bent over the butler and placed his hand on his shoulder.

"That's enough, Sebastian," he said softly.

He panted, releasing his grip. The fight had left him tired out and bruised.

"I-I'm so s-sorry, my lord."

"I know. Let's get you back to bed." Ciel helped the man up and escorted him to his bed, where he collapsed from exhaustion. Sebastian winced as he slowly laid his head on the pillow.

"I t-told you to run when g-get like this...w-why did you st-stay?"

"I'm not leaving your side when you need me most. For a demon, you can be pretty reckless. But you're my demon, and you will fight this and continue to aid me in avenging the death of my predecessors."

Sebastian drifted off right away. Ciel pulled the blanket up towards the man's chin.

"Goodnight, Sebastian."


	6. Chapter 6

_Day five:_

_For the past two days, Sebastian has done nothing but sleep and drink tea. Granted, he had develop a fever of 192 (105 in human measurements) after fighting his split personality. Now he's in so much pain, he can't even move and his injuries are healing too slowly. I tried asked him how bad is it, but he wouldn't answer. I couldn't find anything in the book to help ease the pain since my Latin's a little rough. So far I found that the disease is a rare condition and how it is contracted is unknown, which is why no cure was ever made. All I can do for him now is serve him tea until I finish translating the book. It's a bit strange taking care of a demon like this. Why am I treating him with such compassion? He is just a servant to me. His only purpose is to help me obtain my goals, and yet I feel compelled to help him. But I guess it's natural to feel this way when he's this sick._

Ciel put down his pen and journal when he heard the teapot whistle. He poured the contents into a cup and brought it upstairs.

Sebastian laid there, his suffering evident in his face. Some of the bruises he gave himself healed slightly, leaving yellowish spots on his body. His skin gleamed from the beads of sweat that soaked through his shirt and glued his hair to his face.

"...mhmm..."

_My God, he can barely talk_, Ciel thought as he wiped the sweat off Sebastian's forehead.

"I'm here, Sebastian."

"...m-master..." He said between coughs.

"Don't talk," his master shushed and reached for the teacup, "drink this."

He tilted the cup close to Sebastian's lips, the burning liquid flowing onto his tongue. The butler moaned in relief as he sank deeper into his pillow.

"It must be bad if you're like this," Ciel mumbled as he sets the cup down. Sebastian was paler than he usually was, the only color on him was the red of his burning face and the purple of his bruises. His pupils, hidden by his heavy eyelids, were clouded and unfocused. Looking over to the teacup, he saw that the butler had already drank every single drop.

"Care for your fifth cup of tea?" he asked, an attempt to lighten the mood. His butler didn't answer, which was strange of him. He didn't even open his eyes. "Sebastian?"

A small noise escaped the butler's lips, the sound of a whimper.

"Sebastian, what is it?"

"...mhmm...head..."

"What's wrong with your head?" The boy raised his hand towards Sebastian, who moaned at him to stop, but was too late. Although Ciel was being careful, the contact sent white pain throughout his brain. Sebastian let out a bloodcurdling scream as Ciel fell over in fear. he curled himself up, quivering when the memories of him caged and tortured came flooding back. _The screaming...is too familiar...make it stop, make it stop! _

The screaming soon died into raspy breaths.

"Y-young...m-master..."

Ciel hesitantly got up and kneeled beside the butler.

"Sebastian, what's wrong?" he asked, his worry hardly disguised.

"S-s-skull is...c-cracked," Sebastian stuttered. And then Ciel saw something he never thought could happen. His butler had tears falling down his fever-flushed cheeks.

Ciel hurried downstairs where the black book rested on the counter. _There's got to be something in here_, he thought as he searched through pages of foreign text, anything to ease the pain. He could hear Sebastian's moaning from the second floor. _Damn it, why does everything have to be in Latin? I don't have time for this!_ He finally came across red writing on a page, squinting his eyes as he tried to translate what he was reading. "The Angonia Phenomenon...despite being a...rare illness...was responsible for the-," he paused, fear rising in his blood, "...deaths of 7,890,000 demons..." Ciel's eyes widened. _They can die from this? You mean there's a chance this disease…..could kill Sebastian?_

"Ahhhh!" Sebastian cried. The young master was too impatient to keeping looking, so he carried the book to him.

"Tell me where I can find a pain relieving spell in this book!"

"...n-no..." the butler coughed out.

"Please Sebastian, just tell me!"

"...n-no..ne...t-there is none..."

"Damn it!" the boy shouted, throwing the book across the floor.

"Y-young master..."

"I can't lose you!"

"Young m-master, c-calm down...I...can h-heal myself...I-I just...need you...to g-go outside...for a bit."

"No, I'll stay."

"But mas-"

"I'm. Staying," Ciel said firmly.

"If...that's your w-wish, my lord," Sebastian sighed. He shut his eyes and placed his hands on both sides of his head. He gasped loudly, white pain coursing through his grey matter. He bit his lip so hard it drew blood, but kept biting down.

"What are you doing? You're hurting yourself more like that!"

"My screaming...is c-causing you t-to recall...memories of your past..."

"I can handle them," Ciel scowled, "now stop biting your lip!"

The screaming commenced, ringing the boy's ears. But he stayed by the butler's side, watching Sebastian as he screamed and fought. Despite the images of blood and iron bars holding him captive flashing before him, he remained standing. A desperate hand latched onto Ciel's arm, catching him by surprise.

"IT BURNS!" He screamed, feeling the fire in his head. Sebastian squeezed his grip on Ciel, unaware that he was hurting the young master. "Make it s-stop!"

Ciel didn't know what to do. Here was his butler, nearly crushing the bones in his arm and begging him to end his misery. What was he to do? But then he recalled a time when he was sick and in his mother's care, how she would hold his little warm form in her arms as he slept. It didn't cure him faster, but it made him felt better. _Perhaps it's the same for demons?_ The boy wrapped a free arm around the butler's neck, resting Sebastian's head delicately on his chest. He flinched slightly, unsure of his master's intentions.

"W-what are you..." Sebastian asked confused.

A song came out of Ciel's tenor voice, light and beautiful as a robin. The song was the same lullaby his mother sang to him.

_Whisper to me my sweet blue rose_

_Your fears that have made you cry_

_I will protect you from those darkest dreams_

_Until the sun comes and they fade and die_

Although Sebastian was unsure of what was going on, he sat still and listened to the young master, burrowing his head deeper into Ciel's chest.

_Close your eyes my sweet blue rose_

_The stars will guide the way_

_Far from a world of pain and sorrow_

_And you'll awaken to a brand new day_

_Hush now my sweet blue rose_

_The angels are singing a hymn for the hurt_

_A light that will fill them with hope_

_And lifts them up from the dirt_

Sebastian fought to keep his eyes open, his grip on Ciel weakening. Ciel ran his hand through Sebastian's hair, ignoring the fact that it was drenched in sweat.

_Listen to me dear sweet blue rose_

_May my lullaby kiss your angelic face_

_If you get scared as you fall asleep _

_Let this song be your saving grace_

Once Ciel saw that Sebastian fell asleep, he lowered the man onto his back. He smiled slightly at the sight of Sebastian's tear-stained face relaxed and buried into his pillow, his arm hanging off the edge of the bed. It was the same way he had looked like himself after his mother sang him to sleep. The boy pushed the butler's bangs out of his soaked forehead before he walked out of the room.

He sat down in the parlor, satisfied that his butler is at peace even if just for a moment, until he crossed his arms over his vest.

"Ugh, that damn demon drooled on me!"

•••

Sebastian woken up in a coughing fit. When it finally died down, he realized the young master was in the room with him, reading the book he had lent him.

"How's your head?"

"Better. That song you were singing..."

"Something I heard a long time ago." Sebastian understood what he meant and didn't press on the topic.

"It's lovely." Ciel nodded, continuing to read. They sat in silence until Sebastian coughed once more.

"Here," Ciel whispered as he handed him a cup. Sebastian took a sip before he looked down.

"This isn't tea."

"No, it's warm milk and honey," he explained as Sebastian arched an eyebrow, "I might not know what makes demons get better, but I know what worked for me, and that's better than doing nothing. It's only until I find an alternative."

Sebastian smiled, until he remembered what he wanted to tell the young master earlier. "Actually, the book doesn't tell you anything other than medical history. Immortal beings have no need to find ways to lessen symptoms, so they never tried to."

"Then why did you have me read it?"

"You wanted to know about my ailment. Also, so you know what exactly you're getting yourself into."

"What do you mean?"

"I brought something with me, you'll need later on." He motioned to his suitcase. "Third box on the left." Ciel opened up the box and picked up several heavy chains with handcuffs.

"What the hell are these for?" he asked in a low voice.

"Those are to tie me up when I lose control of myself again."

"If you do."

"I will, young master. And when I do, you're going to need those shackles to contain me."

"Sebastian-"

"My lord, promise me you'll do this," the butler stressed.

"Ok, I will." the young master huffed. Sighing in relief, the butler laid back down. "You're really afraid of this."

"There is nothing in this world scarier than a demon, and there is none scarier than me. If I can't control myself, you'll be..." Sebastian trailed off, not wanting to think of how he might hurt his master.

"You will be able control yourself," Ciel stated, "you always do. Because if you don't, I will make the rest of your servitude a living hell." Sebastian laughed softly, knowing full well how serious Ciel was with his threat. "You will survive this, that is an order."

"Of course, young master."


End file.
